Nunji's final resting place

Today I went to visit where we buried Nunji. Spread some different coloured rose petals on top of where she lays – at least she is in peace now after a short though very rapid and surprising sickness.

Daddy loves you, and misses you everyday, my sweet little princess. My Nunji-bunji doggie-puss; my cute little black monster. If only I could hold you one last time, alas, that is not to be. So rest in peace, Nunji, my daughter, my best friend. 

Nunji's final resting place, strewn with fresh rose petals.

R.I.P Nunji

Nunji passed away today, only weeks after her 5th birthday. Here is a short prayer I dedicate to her, followed by another prayer attributed to St. Francis of Assisi, patron of animals and pets.

We comforted her up until her death, she is sadly missed. Such a shock to us.
Born 18/11/2010; Died 17/12/2015.

Thanks to ChurchYear.Net for the prayers.

David and Nunji in happier times, September 2014.

Prayer in Memory of a Pet

Almighty God,
I was fortunate to receive the gift of (pet name) from You
Now that he (she) has left this life,
please help me cope with my loss with strength and courage.
I know that my beloved companion no longer suffers,
and will live on in many fond memories.
May they be treated with the care and respect
As he (she) has enriched my life,
I pray that I may enrich the lives of others. Amen.
Basilica and Shrine of Our Lady of Consolation.

Prayer of Saint Francis for Animals

God Our Heavenly Father,
You created the world
to serve humanity's needs
and to lead them to You.
By our own fault
we have lost the beautiful relationship
which we once had with all your creation.
Help us to see
that by restoring our relationship with You
we will also restore it
with all Your creation.
Give us the grace
to see all animals as gifts from You
and to treat them with respect
for they are Your creation.

We pray for all animals
who are suffering as a result of our neglect.
May the order You originally established
be once again restored to the whole world
through the intercession of the Glorious Virgin Mary,
the prayers of Saint Francis
and the merits of Your Son,
Our Lord Jesus Christ
Who lives and reigns with You
now and forever. Amen.

Nine Prayer Novena

to St. Maximilian Kolbe – Patron of people suffering addictions to illegal drugs.

Last Saturday I started a novena to St. Maximilian Kolbe, I thought I'd publish it here as there are some good short prayers. I like it as it's nice and easy, particularly if you falter in your prayer life quite often, like me!

To read more about St. Maximilian Kolbe check out my post here!

FIRST DAY: 

Dear St Maximilian, when still a child you entrusted your future to the Mother of God and accepted the crowns of purity and martyrdom. Help us to learn to be generous with our lives in the service of God. We pray especially for (mention your request).

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be

SECOND DAY:

Dear St Maximilian, you had a great love of the military and thought of joining the army but instead began the Militia Immaculata to work for the conversion of sinners. We remember all those who serve in the armed forces and their families. We pray especially for (mention your request).

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be

THIRD DAY:

Dear St Maximilian, you began a small religious newspaper which led to an upsurge of faith amongst your countrymen. May we too realise that nothing we do is too small for God to use. We pray especially for (mention your request).

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be

FOURTH DAY:

Dear St Maximilian, you had such a zeal for the proclamation of the Gospel that you went to Japan with no money and no word of the language and what you built is now the centre of the Franciscan province there. May we share in your zeal to announce the Good News through our words and our lives. We pray especially for (mention your request).

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be 

FIFTH DAY:

Dear St Maximilian, when the Nazis had invaded your country and you were under suspicion you said, “No one in the world can change truth”. May we hold firm to the one who is the Truth, Jesus Christ. We pray especially for (mention your request).

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be

SIXTH DAY:

Dear St Maximilian, in prison you were asked whether you believed in Christ and were beaten every time you said you did. You persevered in your witness. May we still hold fast to Christ even in suffering or pain, and if we are persecuted for that belief may we have the courage not to desert him. We pray especially for (mention your request).

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.

SEVENTH DAY:

Dear St Maximilian, even when you were sent to Auschwitz you did not abandon your vocation as priest. Although you were beaten almost to death you still heard confessions and spoke of Christ’s love. We ask you to give us something of your conviction and courage in the face of the sufferings of our lives. We pray especially for (mention your request).

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.

EIGHTH DAY:

Dear St Maximilian, when a fellow prisoner was sentenced to death by starvation you volunteered to take his place: to die so that he had a chance of life. May we always remember the words of our Lord, “he who loses his life for my sake shall find it” and give us the courage to lose our lives in whatever way is asked of us. We pray especially for (mention your request).

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.

NINTH DAY:

Dear St Maximilian, because you were killed by an injection of carbolic acid, you are the patron of drug users. We pray for all those who suffer this terrible addiction and for their families. May they have the courage and help they need to turn their lives around. We pray especially for (mention your request).

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.

GAY+CATHOLIC =OXYMORON

Sacked CDF priest Krzysztof Charamsa and his partner, Eduardo.
SOURCE: Washington Post

Only a couple of months ago, on the eve of the synod on the family a Vatican priest came out of the closet as gay. He has a partner and believes it is time for change within the Church when it comes to LGBT Catholics. Consequently he worked in the 'Congregation of the Doctrine of Faith' (CDF) trying to bring about change from within the walls of the Vatican. In other words, he infiltrated the Church for his own personal, selfish reasons and that of other ignorant so-called gay Catholics.

Now, I say so-called gay Catholics, because to be gay is a self-imposed label. Innocently enough it starts, I for one classed myself as a gay Catholic only a couple of years ago; I have since seen through the lies: the education of the secular world, modernism, the lie that we are 'born this way' – lies; ALL LIES!!!

In my honest opinion to call yourself gay and Catholic is a complete oxymoron as the ideals of the two world are very conflicting. My point in case is that the priest I wrote of was calling for a change to teachings, more acceptance of gay and lesbian couples – basically that the Vatican should be condoning the sin of acting-out ones same-sex-attractions. The biggest issue I have here is that a) this priest should not be 'sleeping with' anyone regardless of sex. b) He took vows as all priests take of chastity, but ignored that commitment he took with God.

How can the Church say that those who feel they are exclusively same-sex-attracted are able to act on those inclinations outside the Sacrament of Marriage? Just because you're 'gay' doesn't give you any special privilege to live against the teachings of the Church while those with normal sexual attractions to the opposite sex must wait to be formed into one-flesh with marriage before they can have relations of a sexual kind. As this priest says, the Church uses 'Nazi words' against gays and that 'the Church needs a Stonewall,' referring to the New York riots of 1969, a pre-cursor to the gay rights movement in America.

After coming-out he has been sacked by the CDF, the Pontifical Universities he once lectured at and has lost his privilege to say Mass – unless he realise his HUGE error in judgement, particularly using the Synod as a tool at his disposal to cause maximum damage control, and he repents. Many would be saying that this is a grave injustice, homophobia in fact, though that is also quite reflective of the gay community and their activists, trying to shame everyone throughout the western world to accept their conditions, or condone their sins.

How can someone identify as gay, Catholic and also be a consecrated priest living in a same-sex relationship? They cannot! He knew what he was getting himself into; now he has turned his back on God in favour of the gay agenda. You can't possibly have an individual who takes religious vows of CHASTITY, perhaps one of OBEDIENCE TO SUPERIORS and treat them like they mean nothing. I am pretty darn sure they mean something to God. Becoming a priest isn't a step that is to be taken lightly. It is one that needs much prayer, study as well. You are giving yourself entirely to God – you are no longer your own person, but a person that is to be Christ-like: a servant for the Church of Christ.

Those most vulnerable to the self-imposed exile of being gay need education. They need to know what is true, what is false – specifically when it comes to gender ideology and being 'born gay.' If I had been told the truth from a younger age that sexuality does not define us as people, that I shouldn't decide on a sexuality at all – we are all children of God – perhaps my same-sex attractions wouldn't be as ingrained within me, they most likely would have simply been a phase of a young, developing, hormonally charged teen.

If I had of known back then what I know now, things would have turned out quite different indeed. Perhaps I have struggled with same-sex attraction only to at last 'see the light' so I can someway, somehow, use what I've learnt to educate others for Christ. Jesus does love gay people like he loves us all, but he does not condone the acting out of these attractions, or of any sexual encounters before marriage. We all have our own cross to bear, for some people that cross is to suffer from same-sex attraction. Pray for wisdom, discernment, patience, perseverance and perhaps one day those attractions will subside substantially or be entirely removed. 'All things are possible with God!' Matthew 19:26.

My 'coming-out' story

So it's late at night. Can't sleep. Been a while since I've blogged. So get ready for one of my little all-over-the-place somewhat mini-rant and 'coming out' story. For those expecting a juicy, steamy, sexy adult post, you've got another thing coming! I'm coming-out of the closet with a range of thoughts, reflections and more importantly: as a creature of God, with a very Catholic view on the realm of sexuality, and the world in general. Enjoy my rant, feel free to comment!

Like any good practicing Catholic, I read the Bible every day. I reflect on it, I study and pray it too. Over the last few years I have been working my way through a guide so you can read the entire Bible and Catechism over the period of one-year, ticking the days off as you go. I am yet to actually fully complete one of these booklets, which I printed it from the internet, twice! Whether I actually complete the booklet, ticking off each day – or whether I start again if I have been inactive for a long period of time – isn't the point of the exercise. Rather starting one's healthy relationship with scripture is! Perhaps I'll print it a third time and start again in 2016, only this time I'll read the Catechism column as well. Previously I have only read the Bible column of the guide.

At the moment I am reading through 1Kings, also known as 1Samuel. As we Catholics aren't all that into memorising scripture, for those not well acquainted with scripture 1Kings is about King Saul, David and Goliath leading to the anointing and Kingship of David. The last time I remember reading these chapters I was referred to them by a pro-gay-Bible article I read only a couple of years ago. My thoughts have changed significantly since then as I was pro-gay-marriage more-so out of lack of education on the matter, not because I wanted to get 'married' myself.

So, as I was reading last time I was actually reading my personal thoughts into the Bible. The relationship that David had with King Saul's son, Jonathan, was symbolic of a gay relationship, what with them kissing and all. This is from reading a very Catholic Bible, the Douay-Rheims! It doesn't have to be a corrupted translation of scripture. At the end of the day there are really only two types of Bible readers: a) Those who read for the TRUTH allowing SCRIPTURE to CHANGE them; b) Those who read SCRIPTURE with their hearts closed to the TRUTH, finding any possible way of CONDONING their SIN regardless of how stupid and irrational it sounds to anyone else.

Besides, the whole idea of sexual preference and defining it is only a fairly new ideal of modernism. Before the latter part of the last millennium no one anywhere actively defined themselves based on who they find sexually attractive. Many people who did have same-sex relations were fooling around, or depending on the culture it was a thing of power, domination, at times even for pagan religious worship. This all led me to reflect on my life and experiences. Certain things were filling my head from the past and the present as I lay in bed trying to sleep.


Mind racing, I decided to get up for a while figuring I wouldn't be getting to sleep any time soon, the hot night not helping much either. Back when I was in high school I remember people mentally placing people into groups. The jocks, the popular girls etc; and one of the new though un-popular fashions was to be 'label-free' which most people hated because we had the high school opinion that we must define, re-define, over-define pretty much everything in life.

Aware of having an attraction to the same-sex I would define myself as bisexual, then as gay, back to straight again followed by gay. Back in the turn of the century growing up I was picked on for this choice for the rest of my days at that school. Why didn't I just go by 'label-free' if I was having trouble choosing my sexual identity, as if it ever matters, especially at the age of thirteen! Like I said, it wasn't cool to be 'label-free' because then you are just wanting more attention. Rather stupid way of thinking, because now I would much rather use that term than gay, bisexual or straight. For someone to call themselves 'label-free' would be much smarter and not looking for or wanting attention.

In hind-sight I wish I made much better decisions in my early life, one of those being not to define myself by my sexual thoughts because it just doesn't matter! Sometimes I believe if I had kept it to myself I probably wouldn't have ever ended up going through the gay world. It could have been that decision to tell someone who blurted it out, making me hated by my peers for the rest of my time at the school. As a result I looked for friends outside of school, my hormones running wild and never really having any close male friends through my earlier years. Thus the gay community became a home of sorts at a very young age. Now it is a culture I can see through, one I have known about, one I have no interest in anymore.

Why would I want to support the lies of the gay community? Everyone looks so happy, so gay in the original meaning of the word, why not hijack the word to define their disordered affections? Not happy with that they even make a mockery of the rainbow. Truth of the matter is it is just a facade all the carefree happiness they exude. On the inside, they're crying. They're miserable. Depressed. Whether it's from a combination of drug and alcohol abuse or just their deep need for real love not objectification, the gay community really has nothing to offer anyone. Not that I am saying those in the community are worthless, but they are duped; by the media, secular education and their disordered way of life.

Many are seemingly ignorant, useful cogs in an agenda they don't know actually exists. There is much truth in the popular saying: 'ignorance is bliss!' I on the other hand would prefer the truth, even if it is hard to accept and apply to ones life, because as an ever better saying goes: 'the truth will set you free!' John 8:32.

2015: A Reflection

Dark Night Year of the Soul

Darkness. Overwhelming feeling of nothingness. Like God doesn't exist. Not an uncommon feeling so I've heard among faithful followers, even some notable Saints – St. Teresa of Avila, Bl. Mother Teresa, even the Apostle of Divine Mercy St. Faustina Kowalska had her moments. But what does it mean? Is God dead? Does He not exist? No – nothing of the sort! Just another trial to get through, in the end I will feel better, more loved by Him.

This is how I've been feeling for the most part of 2015 – another reason I have barely written in this blog for some time. I shouldn't be surprised though. It's something I was expecting to happen, I just had to keep telling myself: "He does exist, you know that. You believe that. Have faith, hope and trust in Him." 

I guess earlier this year I hit a theological barrier, I had an epiphany of sorts, funnily enough around the date of the feast of the epiphany! I was hit full force with a sudden realisation/understanding just why certain behaviours and actions are sinful. Sure, I've known for a while, but I never really understood how or why, so I would continue to "give in to temptation" in regards to certain sins, thinking my conscience is a better judge of my own behaviour being sinful or not. Above the teachings of the Church, which ultimately are the same teachings as Christ. Do I know better than Jesus Christ? The second person of the Triune, Eternal God? After undertaking my own research from a variety of differing views, I altered my personal opinion.

Things started opening up a whole new way of looking at the world. I was starting to understand it much better, though I was faced with issues I am still yet to fully resolve. Applying the things I have learnt – Catholic teachings – to my life. It appears I must "die to myself in order to live" (Matt 10:39)

HAVE NO FEAR

"The greatest weakness in an apostle is fear. What gives rise to fear is lack of confidence in the power of the Lord; this is what oppresses the heart and tightens the throat. The apostle then ceases to offer witness. Does he remain an apostle? The disciples who abandoned the Master increased the courage of the executioners. Silence in the presence of the enemies of a cause encourages them. Fear in an apostle is the principal ally of the enemies of the cause. 'Use force to enforce silence' is the first goal in the strategy of the wicked. The terror used in all dictatorships depends on the fearfulness of apostles. Silence possesses apostolic eloquence only when it does not turn its face away from those who strike it. So it was in the case of Christ's silence. But in that sign, he demonstrated his own courage. Christ did not allow himself to be terrorised. Going out to the crowd, he said courageously: 'I am he.'

Cardinal Stefan Wyszyński

Servant of God. 

In memory of Samantha.

A reading from the book of Wisdom.

The souls of the righteous are in the hands of God, and no torment will ever touch them.

In the eyes of the foolish they seemed to have died, and their departure was thought to be a disaster, and their going from us to be their destruction;
but they are at peace.
For though in the sight of others they were punished,
their hope is full of immortality.
Having been disciplined a little,
they will receive great good,
because God tested them and found them worthy of himself; like gold in the furnace he tried them,
and like a sacrificial burnt offering he accepted them.
In the time of their visitation they will shine forth,
and will run like sparks through the stubble.
They will govern nations and rule over peoples,
and the Lord will reign over them forever.
Those who trust in him will understand truth,
and the faithful will abide with him in love,
because grace and mercy are upon his holy ones,
and he watches over his elect.

Wisdom 3:1-9

TEN-YEARS TODAY

Ten-years today since that deadly crash.
Ten-years since I last talked to Samantha.
Only to see her again in photos. Memorys. Dreams.
Why waste time getting upset,
Wishing this were an on-going nightmare I can't wake from?

Time to be thankful; count my blessings.
Look at the positives to come from such trauma.
Finding FAITH in Almighty God,
Ten-years since that too!
As sore as I can be - physically, emotionally, mentally;
Thank-you God for restoring my faith in you.

For showing me different ways of dealing with my sufferings,
The different crosses we all must bear,
To unite them with our crucified Lord,
Who died for us all,
Purely our of love.

If not for my faith,
I would probably disregard my life.
As time goes on,
I start understanding
Your Will a fraction more;
Though I will never fully understand,
I trust your plans.

A decade ago, I questioned
"Why did this happen to me?"
Though now I understand a little better,
I'm not quite so upset.

Thank-you Lord for the Holy Spirit,
Teaching me to understand Your Truths better;
For giving me a humble spirit ready to be guided,
Not seeking a way to condone my sins.

Your truths never change,
But the world always does.
Thank-you for PERSEVERANCE
Especially when I experience
Darkness of the soul.

Thank-you for a loving family; for my parents,
Who were my first teachers,
Raising me in the Catholic faith.
Thank-you for a stable home;
A peaceful land of natural resources
Wish room to move around.

Thank-you for showing me different faiths;
But ultimately bringing me home
To the one true Church, thank-you, Lord!
I haven't many friends, but for the ones I do have,
Again I thank-you, Lord!

Thank-you for showing me my life has meaning
For revealing yourself in Jesus Christ,
Inviting me to a personal friendship with you.
Thank-you for your love,
Your mercy, your forgiving ways.

Especially for Holy Mass and the Blessed Sacrament,
Sharing yourself with us, thank-you Lord.
For the blessing of life and all that is in it,
And my hope to spend eternity with you;
Thank-you, Lord.

#WhyRemainCatholic

A recent Patheos blogger called us Catholics to write a post on why we remain Catholic in the midst of certain scandles (sex-abuse cover-ups, same-sex marriage etc). This is my blog post, also my first post for a while. If you wish to join in, use the hashtag #WhyRemainCatholic

Read her post here on Patheos.

We live in a fast-paced, post-modern, secular and increasingly godless world. A vast majority of the west have no faith; others have a selfish-faith, only believing in things appropriate to their lives, denying teachings that make them appear less well-intentioned.

Many would get up and leave the Christian faith altogether, unable to reconcile their lives with church-teachings. Of all the different faiths in the world and their denominations, why do I remain Catholic? It would be easier for me to leave the Church in favour of a modern one, or do what countless others have done in the past few centuries and create my own church with views and teachings agreeable to me and my state in life. Not long after I rediscovered God, that was one of my new, zealous ideas! A decade on, I’m still there! Guess I simply became lazy; Perhaps not.

I could write page after page of reasons I choose to stay, for there are many! The history, beauty and language; Liturgy, teachings, availability of Catholic Churches; Our Lady, the Saints, Popes and Martyrs. All these form part of the reason I stay. Regarding the teachings, not all of them I like. Many of them make it hard to go about life as I would like. However, being a Christian - particularly a Catholic - was never meant to be easy. The world isn't easy.

As my life leads on, I find certain stumbling blocks: saying no to drugs, homosexual-sex, contraception. At certain times I have been in complete opposition to Catholic teachings on these and other ideas that the secular world embrace. As Catholics, however, we are a pilgrim people, living in exile in the world, until we attain glory in Heaven, forever. As pilgrims, we are constantly learning, living that which we have learnt and evolving into better versions of ourselves.

Ultimately, the reason I stay is “The Truth” and the Catholic faith is the only faith that has the ultimate truth, created by Truth-Himself, Jesus Christ.

As people, we change. God is the one and same He has always been. My life will change a great number of ways in my time, but the truth will never change. The Catholic Church, her teachings and traditions are the same as they were 2,000 years ago. Its not just one of many churches or a conservative denomination. It is THE Church, founded by Christ Himself. Can God ever be wrong? In this post-modern world, many think He is always wrong. I place my trust and faith in Him, the successors of St. Peter. All other churches were found by the created, usually in direct opposition to God’s teachings. How can a man form his own truths in opposition to God’s truth? He can’t do that and succeed.

As I said earlier, I could write page after page, perhaps even a book with my reasons for staying with the faith, but to put it succinctly, truth is why I stay. Whilst I may not understand certain teachings, when I find I am living in opposition to what my faith teaches - after much reading, thought and of course, prayer - the ultimate truth wins and I adapt my life accordingly.

Just as Our Lord says, we must die to ourselves in order to live eternally with Him. Amen! 

'Evangelii Gaudium' quote

"Now is the time to say to Jesus: “Lord, I have let myself be deceived; in a thousand ways I have shunned your love, yet here I am once more, to renew my covenant with you. I need you. Save me once again, Lord, take me once more into your redeeming embrace”. How good it feels to come back to him whenever we are lost! Let me say this once more: God never tires of forgiving us; we are the ones who tire of seeking his mercy. Christ, who told us to forgive one another “seventy times seven” (Mt18:22) has given us his example: he has forgiven us seventy times seven. Time and time again he bears us on his shoulders. No one can strip us of the dignity bestowed upon us by this boundless and unfailing love. With a tenderness which never disappoints, but is always capable of restoring our joy, he makes it possible for us to lift up our heads and to start anew. Let us not flee from the resurrection of Jesus, let us never give up, come what will. May nothing inspire more than his life, which impels us onwards!"

POPE FRANCIS

"Evangelii Gaudium"

Preparation for Death

O my God, I thank thee for the time which thou givest me to repair the disorders of my past life. Were I to die at this moment, the remembrance of the time I have lost should be one of my greatest torments. Ah, my Lord, thou hast given me time to love thee, and I have spent it in offending thee. I deserve to be sent to hell from the first moment in which I turned my back upon thee; but thou hast called me to repentance, and hast pardoned me. I promised to offend thee no more; but how often have I returned to sin! How often hast thou pardoned my ungrateful relapses! Blessed forever be thy mercy. If it were not infinite, how couldst thou have had so much patience with me? Who could have borne with me so long? O, how sorry do I feel for having offended so good a God! My Savior, the patience alone with which thou waitest for me ought to enamor me of thee. Ah! Do not suffer me to live any longer ungrateful to the love thou hast had for me. Detach me from every creature, and draw me entirely to thyself O my God, I will no longer dissipate the time thou givest me to repair the evil that I have done; I will spend it all in serving and loving thee. Give me holy perseverance. I love thee, O Infinite Goodness, and hope to love thee for eternity. I thank thee, O Mary; by thy advocacy thou hast obtained for me this time which is given to me. Assist me now, and obtain for me the grace to spend it all in loving thy Son, my Redeemer, and in loving thee, my queen and my mother.

St. Alphonsus Liguori.

“Preparation for Death”