BELIEF: The ULTIMATE Question

It has been a while since I've had a good old rant, and at the moment, I have plenty on my mind. From examining my life, the way I live: what's right, what's wrong; why am I here, what is my purpose. PLENTY is going on upstairs, though that in itself is a miracle after enduring a serious car accident nine years ago, receiving a brain injury amongst other injuries... but more-so after having a brain hemorrage just over one-year ago. In reality, I should be a vegetable. But I'm not. I guess I'm a thinker - always have been, always will be. From childhood, through my youth, into adulthood.

I always have plenty on my mind regarding spirituality and religion, thinking of things from the minute I wake up to the second I fall asleep at night. My problem is I don't have anyone to really discuss my spirituality and beliefs with. Here I am, feeling alone in the world, as I am surrounded by people with very little, if any, faith at all. Those I am around who may have a spiritual belief certainly don't share the same depth of passion for it, or hold the same beliefs as myself. They are usually the ones to jump on the anti-Catholic bandwagon, if they themselves aren't actually driving it!

I'm one of the most tolerant of people around. I may not agree with another persons beliefs or lifestyle, but I won't try to push my beliefs on them. I hold true that the one true faith is Catholicism: if it weren't, then I could go to any denomination and still be at peace. However, if others choose to accept a different denomination, or a different world-religion all together, that is their choice and they shouldn't be questioned. I'm not God - He can judge them on the last days!

How would I feel if someone tries to push their faith on me? Even after learning I am a Catholic, they will still try, telling me all the faults and errors in Catholicism. Why can't they be like me, realise I believe in SOMETHING and be happy for me, as opposed to trying to push their particular denomination onto me? Generally the most hate filled people in the world can be people of faith, which really is quite sad.

Other times, I will encounter people who question my beliefs, why I go to church, what's the point of it all? To say simply: I don't have to answer them. They're not God. Only recently have I come to this  conclusion. As Jesus said to his own friend, St. Peter: "Go behind me, Satan!" - Matthew 16:23.

People such as these will fill my head with such thoughts that I am wasting my time believing in something that's simply not there. I used to debate these things with people until either they turned to my faith, I turned to theirs, or we agreed to disagree (which was usually the case). Then one word would be said: REGRET. When I die and realise I was wrong, won't I regret all those hours wasted going to Mass? All the books of spiritual nature I've read? All for... what?

If that were to be the case (which I don't believe at all!) then; No. I wouldn't regret having believed in something. I would be dead, I wouldn't exist, so how could I have regrets? I would however regret if I die and found myself in hell. That would undoubtedly be the biggest regret of my life, having to spend eternity in pain and suffering on a scale much more severe than the pains and suffering I endured whilst on earth.

I will go with a more comforting belief, give myself a better chance of getting to Heaven, and actually BELIEVE. Having beliefs I may be limited in what I can do on earth, for many things the body wants can be a sin. But to spend eternity in Heaven is a much better option, than to do whatever I want on earth and spend eternity in Hell.

Many scientific/medical tests will show that people of faith are happier people. So if we live, we die, end of story - at least having faith made me a happier person.